I could have gone back to attending capoeira class today but I didn’t. I could have gone back home earlier than usual but I didn’t. It’s my day-off after all. And unlike yesterday that I spent my entire day finishing two books, I was in some mood for some adventure today. It’s been a long time since the last time I’ve indulged myself. So why not today?
And you know what “indulging” meant this time? I actually thought that there’s a high probability that we’d collide upon each other today. I don’t know, it’s just one of those my “I-got-an-epiphany-coming”-feeling again. After all, if you’re a criminal, you’re definitely not a prof. Your prints are all over. Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. — Stalking is not as difficult as before isn’t it? Not that I’m stalking you. No! Definitely NOT. I’d like to think more of my self as a detective. Yes, I guess, that’s a better name. Detective. I’m just trying to make sure that you are worth the attention.
Haha. Oh geez. I think I’m getting crazier by the minute, am I?
But yeah. Just to boost your ego, Yes, I took the chance. What do they call that again? A leap of Faith. Some sweet euphemism for some stupid act. I waited there, in one of the empty tables, turned on my laptop and acted busy when the truth is, I waited to see you. Thinking this maybe it. One of those serendipitous moments. Except that if “it” happens, then it’s not a fortunate accident anymore. It’s what my friend Pards would call force-coincidence. But doesn’t matter what’s it called for as long as I sat there. And my computer was running low in battery. That’s what you get when you do something stupid on impulse. But I just waited. Somehow formulating how our accidental meeting would end up.
Maybe you’d come up the escalator? Or you’d use the stairs perhaps? Should I wave? Smile? Feign surprise? Would you speak? Would I find my tongue when you’re finally in front of me? Will we finally have some small talks this time? Or we’ll simply have our usual Hi-Hello-smile-nod-turn-back on each other greetings again? I don’t even know if you’re in the City. I don’t even know if you’d come up or you’re probably in some other cafe or some other workshops again. For all I know you decided to stay home or you’re already on your way home or anywhere for that moment.
I don’t know what got me in to writing this. And not until I click on the publish button, I’m not sure if I’d set this password protected or not. But basing on the number of characters I’ve typed so far and the little sliding bar at the right side, this seems to be a long entry and it looks like only a few friends of mine would care and dare to read this.
But, just in case. Yes, just in case, you chance upon opening this page and you actually read this and for some act of fate you actually figured out it’s you I’m talking to then here it is. Do hear my confession.
I still like you. And though I still stubbornly don’t want to use the other L word on you I know you’re the closest to that. And if it’s only my pride that’s not letting me say the right words then maybe for a minute, maybe even just for this time, I’d let my guard down. Then I can tell you that I am not okay. And that for the most part I’m okay with not being okay. And I’m going to say that I miss you. And then I’m going to admit that I waited for you in that lone table with indifferent people passing by, because all I have wanted even just for this day was a chance to see you again.
TweetTags: alone, featured, hope, life, love, love stories, luck, Random, rants, stupidity, wish
And i think i’m one of the few friends of urs who dared to read this. I think i know. but i can’t really be sure.
Can’t really be sure is good enough. At least you have a hint. better than clueless.
lol. confessions of a lady in love. ahahahaha…
fetus recently posted..Snorkeling off Baclayon’s Balwarte
remembered Sam Milby’s line: “I never…said…”
“But doesn’t matter what’s it called for as long as I sat there.”
i loved that part. hahaha!
ah, us and our forced coincidences! tsk. i liked to do this before, to stage serendipity, but guess what, i almost always said the wrong things to the guy i liked. like the obviously stupid or stupidly obvious.
and you may call it whatever, but i call it stalking (and hoping for the best).
pards recently posted..part 3- smile kid
hahaha. hmmm… quote i almost always said the wrong things to the guy i liked unquote. are you sure you said something? Haha. sorry. I just remembered that time you staged serendipity by attending the graduation rites. hmmmm…. if I’m Alice I could have said: Curioser and curioser!
argh! should you really remind me? i even got my hair soaked in mint extract for that night. i was…ummm…stupid. hahahah!
hey, i did say a thing or two…when i finally got a hold of my tongue. XD
i actually miss doing this. wala na ko pwede ma-force coincidence-an.
pards recently posted..part 3- smile kid
haha. wonder what’s that thing or two. lol. OK. I’ll try to stop. anyway, off topic, gwa na ang Tangled da?
wala pa! kita ko ang sched sa tv, basi first week of feb gid. dira ya? dungan na lang ta watch magpuli ka.
pards recently posted..part 3- smile kid
actually not sure. i checked last last week wala pa pagwa. but last tuesday, nagcheck ko online, ginpakita sa 3D. then suppose to watch it today, it was replaced by Yogi Bear. tsk tsk. hopefully pakita da BCD.
“I still stubbornly don’t want to use the other L word on you I know you’re the closest to that.”
aahahahha!pang valentines..^^
happy valentines marg and to whoever is that person which is closest that “L” word..eheheheh!
haha. thanks manni. gi-status jud nako sa FB kay pang-Vday man ingon mo. haha.
waaaaah!! bakit ako kinilig?? hahaha kinilig naman ako!! hahaha
this is a great confession marge.. i can do the same.. and i would probably do the same!
you want me to tweet him this so that he can read it? 
hmmmm. I’m not sure if you are tweet buddy.
hahaha. hayaan mo na oi. let’s not force the coincidence. 
okay, so tweeting is not an option.. there are a lot of options though!? :p but i really got kilig with this post. hahah parang marian-dingdong like lang. hahah (because he looks like young dingdong dantes! lol)
only if the pic is edited. uhmmm. not sure if we are talking of the same person.
haha. i don’t like Marian for the record. 